Positive Thinking=Engagement in a Year?

So, tonight I am in a lonely Sunday night funk and am driving home from Fresh Market to eat yet ANOTHER frozen pizza and possibly drink the whole bottle of cheap French wine ($6.99) when I hear this peaceful sounding lady on my regular NPR station. She sounds so much like Delilah that I hit the SCAN button and then pause. Wait. This is NPR. Surely, whomever they are broadcasting despite the subject, should be something worth listening to.

I hear her tell this heart-felt story of being in one failed relationship after another, and on her 41st birthday, vowing to be engaged by the age of 42. A roll of the eyes immediately from me, and then I stop. Wait. Isn't this kind of like the yellow Post-It that I put on my mirror that stated my wants and needs, for example: getting out of Redneck Roanoke and living among friends and making more bank? Didn't I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and wish on these thoughts every day until it happened?

So, I go back to 89.1. I listen for a few minutes on this woman talk about starting to date guys that are available and how eventually the gods grant her wish of being engaged by her forty-second year of her life. She was promoting daily meditation and uncomfortable self-reflection.

Although my first reaction was to label her as another woman trying to complete her almost perfect life with a man, I stopped when I heard her speak of self-reflection. Thank god I am not the only one out there trying day after day to self-reflect!! And, thank god that there is someone out there that admits that it is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world, but in turn will get you engaged in a year.

My stomach was growling, so of course I didn't hear the end of the story or this lady's name, and even though I would never admit to praying to be engaged in a year, I respect her. After another long weekend of doing exactly what I want and being tired of myself by Sunday afternoon, if I admit it, maybe this is what I am praying for too.

All Men are Liars

Two days ago, I'm cleaning out my apartment to find anything and everything that I could possibly find to sale at my garage sale that I had today. How ironic that I would find a CD that was left in my mailbox from my then recent Ex-Boyfriend who was finally returning something of mine that only took him, oh I don't know, like three months. Included in the package was a CD of famous Mississippi blues artists because he "saw it in a store and thought of me." The title of the CD? "All Men Are Liars". Well folks, there you have it. The question posed in my last blog has been answered.

DUMPED by a 23 year old

23 year old: "Hello."

Erin: "Hi, just wanted to tell you that I got the job in DC and will be moving there this month! Isn't it funny that you just moved back to the burbs of DC (even if you did move back in with your mother) and now I just landed this really important job only a few metro stops away?"

23 year old: "I have to tell you something... (Erin: stomach dropping)..I met someone."

Erin: "Really?! That's great!"

By "GREAT" I meant, WHAT THE F!" But, I remained calm and said, "Well, the last time we talked I asked you if you were dating someone and you said NO." 23 year old response: "I know. I'm sorry."

Sorry? Sorry! You know, I really haven't had much time to process this, and I'm thinking that it was probably just a knee jerk reaction to my out of the blue question, but really? Isn't it a bad thing if your knee jerk reaction is to lie? And why do I tend to think these guys are the most innocent honest things? I mean, I didn't think that he had a lying bone in his HOT body. Am I really that naive? I can preach all day to my friends and refer them to page 62 of "Conscious Dating" but apparently, I can't even spot the lying ones.

Well, to be totally honest, my gut spots them. It had been nagging at me for about a month now that something seemed odd, but instead of taking a hard look at the facts of the situation, I went fishing. I shamelessly started hitting on him over the phone to see how he would react. Like, "Remember that time when we started making out in my car on a warm sunny Saturday..." I thought I had gotten my answer when he was like, "Oh yeah I do. What are you doing in two weeks?" I should have known it was going down hill when a few days before the planned visit he said he had like five dollars in his bank account and couldn't make our rendezvous workout. Let's be clear: we ARE in a recession. Having faced financial difficulties myself, I do not hate on anyone whose roll might be a bit thin. However, this is not going to stop me from spending that last 5 bucks on a tank of gas to spend a weekend of bliss that will last you for at least a month, if you know what I mean.

HELLO ERIN! RED FLAG #32! I'm just like Jane. I completely lose all sense of practical thought when you throw a 23 year old in the picture. Especially one that I picked up on the dance floor after a few vodka tonics. I know what you are thinking, and OK. I admit it. I may have picked up every other guy this way, but HELLO! I started a dating blog. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and you are not helping. HELP!